Food Shame, Part 1 -- Pasta Carbonara Mush

What's in the fridge?  Bacon, eggs, that's it.  What's in the pantry?  Pasta, rice, couscous.  Dinner is served! 

The Carbonara you get in American restaurants isn't really Carbonara; its Alfredo sauce with bacon in  it.  Real Carbonara is that holy of holies, "breakfast for dinner": nothing more than bacon and eggs, stirred rapidly into hot pasta so the eggs cook through and take on a creamy quality, with some Parmesan cheese grated into it to round out the creaminess. 

One of my food-shames is pasta carbonara with Israeli couscous instead of Italian noodles -- essentially "mush".  It is perfect for a cold, dreary, rainy evening when I don't have anyone around that I need to impress.  I can scoop some into a bowl and eat it with a spoon, in front of the TV and feel warm and toasty while getting my salt & fat fix.  Here's my basic "starter" recipe, and is a good baseline for tinkering and adjustments.  This time around, I also stirred in some spring vegetables that I had sauteed in butter and garlic, in this case fiddleheads and asparagus tips (both of which are the gustatory embodiment of "Spring in New England")


Construction Materials:

1c pearled ("Israeli") couscous
1 1/5 c chicken stock (or water, if you don't have stock or unsalted broth handy).
1 T (or less) olive oil

2 strips thick-cut bacon (if you want to get all "authentic" about it, guanciale is the way to go, or pancetta if ye have none.  Me, I don't need fancy.  I get wonderful locally-produced bacon from Austin Brothers Valley Farm out in Belchertown, MA at my farmer's market and that suits me down to the ground.)
2 eggs, beaten with a fork
Parmesan cheese, quantity to taste
Pepper, to taste

Cooking the Bacon

Cook the bacon to your desired consistency.  I like mine chewy.  Remove from pan, drain, chop into bite-sized pieces.

Cooking the Couscous

Heat the stock or water til boiling.  At the same time, in another saucepan, heat the olive oil til shimmery.  Add the couscous and stir, coating the pasta pearls and heating them to toast a little.  After a minute or so, when you can just start to smell the "toasted" part of "toasted couscous" add the boiling broth.  Lower to a simmer, cover, and cook til the liquid is absorbed, then turn off the heat and rest covered for a few minutes.

Making the Magic Happen

Stir the beaten egg into the pasta, and keep stirring till the egg cooks through.  The quantity of egg is really up to you, I beat two eggs then pour in as much as I feel comfortable with.  This time around I used both eggs (I don't like it when it comes out too "dry).  While still hot, grate parmesan cheese into the pot and stir stir stir some more til it all melts into the eggy pasta.  Then stir in the bacon.  Put into a bowl, eat.

August 6th farmers' market haul

I love all the colors!

Zucchini, Cousa squash, Poblano peppers, golden beets (not pictured), Yukon gold potatoes, and cranberry beans from Parker farm, corn from Kimball farm, purple peppers and husk cherries (cape gooseberries) from Drumlin farm.

Maraschino Cherries

An experiment in homemade Maraschino cherries, or as an old acquaintance referred to them, Martian cherries.

I used a recipe I found online, and added a water-bath canner step at the end, which I found from another recipe for brandied cherries. Hopefully the won't come out all mushy in the end, since I pitted them and therefore exposed the flesh to the preserving liquid.

Grilled scallops, corn, and golden beets

Scallops, corn, and marinated golden beets on the grill -- ahh, summertime!

The scallops are from Swan River on the Cape. This was my second attempt, the first time the grill wasn't hot enough so I had to cook them longer, and they wound up getting kind of dry. This time the coals were hot, so they came out beautifully! They were a delicious combination of sweet and smoky, and perfectly tender.

The corn was cooked in the husk, but peeled back first to remove the silk and coat with a small bit of butter, then folded back over the ear.

The beets are golden beets sliced and marinated in a mixture of balsamic vinegar, rosemary, herbes de provence, and minced garlic. I put them in a foil packet and cooked on the grill for maybe 1/2 hour. I flipped the packet over about halfway through, and wound up sort of steaming them as the heat got in through the packet folds and heated up the marinade.

Grilled bluefish with summer vegetables

Bluefish from Swan River on the grill, surrounded by globe squash from Kimball Farm, red pepper (from Stop & Shop), corn from Hart Farm, and golden beets from Parker Farm.

The beets were undercooked, but that was my own fault since I forgot to put them on the grill first. I will definitely try this again, though. They were marinated in a mixture of balsamic vinegar, fresh rosemary, and minced garlic. The recipe called for herbes de Provence, which I didn't have, but I'll use them next time. They would have been amazing had they been cooked through although a little rosemary goes a long way so I'd probably only serve the equivalent of one small beet per person as the taste is very strong. They should be marinated for at least 20 minutes (I did mine overnight, which may be why they came out so strong), then wrapped in foil and cooked on a hot grill for 20-30 minutes, then taken out of the foil and slapped on the grill directly. Mine came out too crunchy, but still tasty.

Also: great thanks to Tom Colicchio who let slip a comment on an episode of "Top Chef All-Stars" about removing the bloodline from fish before serving to remove the really fishy taste from fish. I've had great success with fish on the grill this week (never done it before). By contrast, I had a piece of tuna at a "nice" restaurant the other night that had been improperly butchered and the bloodline made me gag when I tasted the meat. In truth, I think perhaps the fish had started to turn, which is a shame because the restaurant used to be very high-quality, and their kitchen standards seem to be slipping.

Scallop & red pepper kabobs, with grilled corn

Fresh scallops from Swan River Fish Market in West Dennis (caught in Gloucester) and red peppers on kabobs, with fresh corn from Hart Farm (really, from Rochester, MA).

The corn was delicious, I peeled back most of the husk to take all the silk out, then spread a thin layer of butter over the kernels and folded the husks back over. I'd never grilled corn before so I wasn't sure of the timing, but I think I got it mostly-right (I just kept poking at a kernel with the tongs until the kernel popped with minimal pressure.) It would be interesting to try adding spices (chilis!) or herbs to the butter.

The scallops were very sweet but a little overdone. I think the coals needed to be hotter, since it took a long time for them to cook through. A hotter flame would have seared them and cooked them through before they became too tough.

Grilled striped bass, with globe squash

Fresh striped bass from Swan River Fish Market in West Dennis, caught just hours earlier, grilled with salt, pepper, & lemon. The fish is accompanied by globe squash from Kimball Farm, which is basically a short spherical zucchini.

Apple Galette

Rustic-style apple galette, filled with Calvados-preserved apples, and topped with sprinkled cinnamon and sugar, with the preserving liquid (Calvados and a simple syrup) reduced further with additional sugar to a glaze.

Peach-Rhubarb Pie

Peach and rhubarb pie, made with 3c of peaches that I preserved in brandy last fall, plus 2c of rhubarb from the supermarket. The only thing I didn't have that the recipe called for was orange zest, which the pie didn't miss, but I'll bet it would have added a little something, so next time I'll make more of an effort to get an orange.

I didn't make the pie crust.

Also: I wound up with 2/3c of peach-infused brandy (the preserving liquid) which I used to make a delicious and deceptively high-octane white wine sangria the next day.

Country biscuits, success!

I had a much more successful morning with biscuits and gravy. The gravy was just a standard country sausage gravy: about 1/2 lb sausage crumbled and cooked through, add about 1T or so of flour and 1T or so of butter (1:1 ratio) and stir until the flour is cooked, then add 2C of milk and stir over medium heat til thickened to your liking. Salt & pepper to taste.

The biscuits were Alton Brown's recipe, with a couple of hacks. First, I made a buttermilk substitute with 1T white wine vinegar in 1C milk and chilled, because I didn't have buttermilk, and second I used cake flour at the recommendation of a friend who suggested flour with a lower gluten content than all-purpose.

As you can see, I also didn't cut them into rounds. I halved the recipe and the dough fit perfectly into my small cast-iron pan, so I just quartered the dough before baking.

Deep-Fried Cadbury Creme Egg

I had some batter left over from my fish-frying adventures (it wasn't fishy batter), and I also had one Cadbury Creme Egg left over from a box of four that I bought the other day (I only wanted one, but Target doesn't sell single-size Easter candy, just packs.)

So it seemed like a natural fall-out to attempt to deep-fry my Cadbury egg.

The first picture is what it looked like when it first came out of the batter (so nicely-formed!) and the second is what it looked like when I cut into it. I did eat it with a fork and knife. It makes me understand why Scottish people will bung anything into a deep-fryer.

Fish Tacos

Haddock from Jordan Bros. Seafood fried in a beer batter, served in corn tortillas with red cabbage, pico de gallo, and a spicy white sauce made with mayonnaise, yogurt, minced jalapenos, and spices.

Not crazy about the red cabbage, probably won't do that again (maybe a little bit of shredded white cabbage instead?) and the fish got soggy fairly quickly after coming out of the oil. I'll have to look into that, perhaps it simply wasn't cooked long enough (although the fish was cooked through perfectly.)

Scallops & bacon with dijon vinaigrette, wilted spinach

Seared scallops with crumbled bacon, dressed with a white-wine & dijon vinaigrette, over sauteed spinach, topped with minced dill.

Scallops purchased from Jordan Bros. Seafood, bacon from Austin Bros. Valley Farms, spinach from North Star Farms, all vendors at the Somerville Winter Farmers' Market.

Biscuits & sausage gravy, scrambled eggs.

Work-from-home Friday breakfast: biscuits & sausage gravy, with a side of scrambled eggs.

The biscuits were far too dense, I need to find a better recipe. The gravy was a basic sausage gravy, next time probably more pepper. Goes down a treat with a spicy Bloody Mary, but I'll save that for Sundays!

Sage breakfast sausage from Austin Brothers Valley Farm, eggs from Stillman's Farm, both vendors at the Somerville Winter Farmer's Market.

Scallops & chorizo, zucchini carpaccio

Chorizo and seared scallops, served with a zucchini carpaccio.

The chorizo was purchased from Austin Brothers Valley Farms in Belchertown, MA and the scallops from Jordan Bros. Seafood in Brockton, MA, both selling their wares at the Somerville Winter Farmers' Market.

The chorizo was sliced to about 1/2" thickness and dry-fried. A bit of bacon fat (maybe 1/4 tsp) was added to the pan, since the sausage didn't give off much fat at all, and the scallops were seared in the fat after being dressed with salt and pepper.

The "carpaccio" was created with zucchini sliced wafer-thin with a mandoline, then dressed with a 1:1 mixture of olive oil and Key lime juice, salt, pepper, and shredded parsley. It came out a little too oily for my taste, perhaps next time reduce the oil. I will probably also use lemon juice and dill for flavor, as the lime was a bit overpowering.

Crab cakes with caper-lime remoulade, sauteed spinach

Crab cakes topped with a spicy caper & lime remoulade, over spinach sauteed in bacon fat with garlic, salt, & pepper.

The crabcakes were from Sen. Barbara Mikulski's recipe.

My remoulade was a slapdash concoction from what I had in my fridge: mayo , a spoonful of capers minced very fine, a splash of Key lime juice, and some cayenne to bring the heat.

The spinach was sauteed in a pan with a bit of bacon fat, minced garlic, salt & pepper.

Crab was purchased from Jordan Brothers Seafood, spinach from North Star Farms in RI, both vendors at the Somerville Winter Farmers' Market.

Crepes with Calvados-preserved apples

Sweet crepes from Alton Brown's recipe, topped with apples that were preserved in Calvados (Breton apple brandy) and simple syrup.

The apples were sauteed in butter to caramelize the sugar, and the whole shebang was drizzled with a stovetop Calvados syrup.

The next batch of apples has cinnamon sticks in the syrup, so we'll see how they turn out when we crack those jars open!

Thai green curry with scallops

Thai green curry from a recipe given by my (Thai) aunt, with zucchini, red pepper, and bamboo shoots, prepared with seared scallops and served over brown long-grain rice. The secret ingredient is... Maesri green curry paste. Who knew?

Scallops from Jordan Brothers Seafood, at the Somerville Winter Farmers' Market.

Grilled Cheese, Part II

Someone in my office set our kitchen on fire by attempting to make a grilled cheese sandwich in an upright toaster.

Attention MIT / Harvard Braintrust -- here is a little equation for you that you must memorize:

cheese + heating element + gravity = flames + 2nd angry email* from director of facilities about correct/incorrect use of kitchen appliances.

*The first angry email was when someone put a slice of pizza wrapped in plastic wrap into a toaster oven, causing the first kitchen fire. That incident prompted Facilities to take away the toaster ovens and give us the upright toasters thinking (wrongly) that they were idiot-proof.

Chicken and Gravy

Easy Chicken & Gravy

4 skinless chicken breasts
2 tbsp flour
1 tbsp vegetable oil
4 cups cooked rice
1 can (10 1/2 oz.) Franco-American Chicken Gravy

Coat chicken breasts with flour. Cook in skillet in oil 15 min. or until done. Remove.

Stir in Chicken Gravy. Serve with 4 cups cooked rice.

Makes 4 servings

This is -- verbatim -- a recipe I found when I was looking for a chicken gravy recipe. To recap: the way to cook chicken and gravy is to cook chicken and put gravy on top of it. The way you cook the chicken is to cook it until its done. The way you add the gravy is to pour the gravy over it.

Actually, I take that last one back. The recipe does not actually instruct the reader to put the gravy on the chicken. It only goes as far as putting the gravy in the skillet, which leads me to wonder how many hapless would-be chefs have been left standing at their stove looking wildly back and forth between the heated gravy in the chicken pan and the cooked chicken sitting on the plates, wondering what to do next.

Franco-American -- tell me what to do!